Friday, April 10, 2009

I'm sorry Canada, the Prime Minister doesn't take this matter seriously enough to reply.

Dear Mr Harper,
I apologize for our employee’s behaviour during the recent gathering of world leaders at your residence, especially given his delicate assignment as head translator. Albert was one of our finest multi-linguists and ironically, responsible for our Equal Opportunity Employer Award. Unfortunately, this latest incident proves to me that while Tourette’s syndrome is well understood in every day society, it is not as widely accepted in diplomatic circles.
I don’t know exactly when Albert’s medication wore off, but it was probably somewhere between calling George Bush “Happy Pants Pinocchio” and declaring Vladimir Putin a nappy-headed, smelly fish wrestler.
Certainly his rendition of Queen Elizabeth casting a voodoo curse on Mr. Mandela was inaccurate and unhelpful.
However, upon video review, we feel no need to take responsibility for the destruction of the food carts or the goldfish as Albert had been restrained with duct tape by that point.
We regret that our translator has caused the mobilization of three hostile navies, but our company policy forbids refunds. Instead, as a goodwill gesture, I am authorized to extend to you a 10% reduction on our translating fee for the upcoming coastal negotiations.
Thank You,
Jackson Snead


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